To rukky

well it's been a while since i started reading ur blog
i must say it is an amazing blog and the picture's u took are just breath-taking
and i read ur relationship status change on fb so i must say

i am trully really happy for u =)

i kno it's prob gonna be tough but

since it been years and you guys had
eachother no matter what maybe

this time will be fo real =)
and knowing u have been in the same situation as me
with all the LDR n stuff ..was a great help for me
so just wanted to let you know that and

Good luck dear love you
btw thought it was a sweet pic ^__^

snowing...

it's freezing outside ~ And also snowing

well my vacation started yeeeyy 14days seems so long =)

and my bday was amazing had lots of fun

i went to see a movie - karoake - and also went eating

and on the exact i was actually going to sit and talk a lil with mom have something to eat n stuff

but daddy called and we went to a korean restaurant it was my first time seeing him afta such a long time so it was great! Thanks to all the people who sent me message's and sweet comment's ^__^

me feelin like shit/inside&outside

it's been a while since i wrote something

uhm nothin new actually my life still going on

had some things to do for school uhm yeaa

my 12-days vacation is going to start from the 10th of nov

wich i am happy about finally no schoolwork or waking up in the morning

oh yeaahh bday coming up =) yaayyy 2days left

actually almost 1 day left since it's almost midnight here

i'm going out with friends watch a movie and sit a lil talk and eat n stuff

i'll post them pic's later..=)

well as for me there have been a few guys asking me out n stuff

but like i side i feel like there's still an icebox in my chest

he told me yesterday that we kept dreamin of me

and i asked him..''was it hard fo u to give up?''

he said '' yes it was in the beginning ''

and i asked some otha stuff too ..

and honestly i am not ready to just let it all go and act like what we had

was never there or that everything is okay now

it is not okay for me i thought i was but i am not

i feel like something is missing like i lost the ability to love

and i am truely dissapointed that he just gave up on me..no us

and i hate that i miss him and i hate that he always says the right things to me

i know getting back together wont change the fact that

we don't know when we'll see eachother

or the fact that it's gonna be very hard and i don't wanna keep him beside me

 knowing that this relationship is killing him..

but i'm lonely and lost without him

i just want him beside me can't i be just selfish for one time and

just tell him how i have been feeling?

knowing that i'll be putting him in a difficult situation

i feel like something is missing..

i dunno what to do..

life...

You can't take back the words you've said

and the things you've done

that how life is you can't turn back time

and erase the mistakes or do things differently

your mistakes are the lessons you learn in life

but there are no grades in life you will decide your

own life and the way you gonna live your life

your parents will be gone one day

they are not gonna live your life

so you gotta learn to stick up for your own thoughts

be patient,learn,listen,watch,observe and most of all believe

without faith in yourself you won't achieve anything in life

it's a cold and hard world out there and you gotta go trough it all

by yourself the reason why i'm saying all by yourself is..

one day you will grow up and be an adult

your gonna take your own decision and be independent

your family will support you in some things but

eventually you will be by yourself

and yes there will be good friends who

listen give advice and help - ur lucky if you have someone like that

because now days you really can't trust someone

eventually they will hurt and break you

so it's better to trust yourself

shit happens in life but time will always heal everything

so try to learn from your mistakes and find happiness

in the little things that make life worth living

like music,family,friends,etc..

try to relax and enjoy sometimes

the way i have been observing people is that they get so stressed

because of work,traffic or a little fight they had

without realizing people make mistakes too

after all we are human right?

nobody is perfect..

We come to love not by finding a perfect person

 but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

and

the other thing is they don't make time for themselves

why are we being so stressed and not enjoying or realizing that

there is so much more in life then getting good grades or working?

we wake up early and hurry to go to work or school to do the same things everyday..
complaining and forgetting all about the little things always

wanting more and more..

but open your eyes see life trough other eyes

because there are so many beautiful things that

i,we don't notice everyday..

tell the people you love - that you love them

give free smiles and hugs away

you can be anything that you want

the world is yours there are alot of opportunities

so explore it =) you only live once...

I'm So Cold -

it's been such a long time since the last time i wrote

lately it's been very cold here .. it has snowed

it's 7 degrees right now..

school has been okay same old same i guess

my heart has been acting weird i mean 

i moved on..i understand that it wasn't meant to be 

but i just saw our future before my eyes and don't be like 

ur young you'll find someone els n stuff coz age doesn't matter at all 

i just -sigh- i dunno my heart won't let anyone in 

there were a few guys but i just can't .. 

and i don't understand why.. 

becoz it's over it is .. 

and we both moved on 

but i just can't seem to love anyone els

i wanted everything with him and no one els so

now it's like such an empty space and i feel like my heart is just one big mess...

long time no see...

well life has been kinda okay same shit different days

school is okay and my love life is kinda quiete

well yeah it's weird not having him anymore

feels so empty but i am doing okay except being

stressed over this f*cked up life why are we

being so stressed and busy worrying about life

when we should be enjoying

we all know that we only live once and we still

say hurtfull things and do stupid things

and everything is just same old same...

just make time to have fun and enjoy the moments people

where the hell is thaa loovee??

where is humanity?

guess this is life right?

=) i accidently riped my grey eye lens T__T

damn i loved it sooo much =(



pictures



So Pretty♥




How Cute Is This?♥



Music Is Life♥

Pink♥



♥



I love this picture so much♥



Every evening i used to look at the sunset
and think of you -
( Phone Quality XD ♥ )



I Miss This town ♥

Beautiful♥

dolce Vita♥

|wish My Room Looked Like this♥|

I Want This Tattoo♥

i do not own any of these pictures uneless stated -

random

it's been a while since i wrote well 

i've been trying to get my thoughts clear

i am doing okay at least i think so

but being okay doesn't mean he's not on my mind

i think of him and it hurts but what must happen will happen

& if it's meant to be we will find our way

he's on my mind and honestly i am feeling lonely i need someone to love

someone beside me

someone who's there

someone who understands

i want a relationship that is real

someone who's willing to fight for his love

well easy to say hard to find ..

and when you think you  found that someone &nd you decide

to give them ur heart - they eventually leave you with a broken heart

and then you promise not to love so easly

and try to enjoy life with only you for a while

i mean being single is great you'll be you

no one nagging you about something

just you and ur thought i enjoy that feeling

but in the end we all need love

someone beside us to say u look pretty no matter what

and you forget about your broken heart

when it hurts it feels like dying and when ur in love

it feels like everything makes sence

well i need some love and sunshine

we all need that i think ..

i wish i could be in greece on the beach with a good music on my ipod

and sunshine in my face

and people around me laughing and enjoying

i need that right now

no stress of school.exams.graduation

only music & sunshine and someone to love

i can see it before my eyes # ^^ #

life really doesn't make sence right now

why the hell do i wake up at 6 am in the morning

to go to school wich some lessons i don't understand at all

wishing to be somewhere else

and come home do nothing beside's some HW i can do c

and ofcoz spend some time with my pc - my sweet pc what would i do without you

and it's always the same routine

and the same people and the same thing

i love spending time with my friends but

i want i dunno alot of things

satisfaction in life ...

No Worries - at least for a month



heartache

today we broke up
after 2 years..
i knew this was gonna happen again when he started acting weird
but i never thougth it would hurt so much like it does now
i've cried my heart out but the tears keep falling
and my heart keeps hurting
i can't say anything feels like something is stuck in my throat
i have a headache and a broken heart
this is the end of all the dreams we shared
the conversations we had
the laughs we shared
the tears we cried
the hopes we had
the love we shared
the end of the promises
and the future we imagined
i don't know what to do or what to think
i don't know how he is feeling right now
all i know if for me it feels like losing a piece of me
and it feels like dying -nothing makes sence right now..

my heart is hurting

I can feel him fading away from me little by little
there is still that ..
...Silence
...Akwardness
I have no idea how we ended up like this
cause it just seems like yesterday when we were talking about us and the future
we were so confident and full of hope
and now we hardly even speak
i go out with my friends and laugh
but my heart is still aching
i just need to cry in someone's arms
without telling me he is a jerk or that he's blind or that everything is okay
i am not okay .. and i am okay with that
i need the tears to feel that what he and i had/have real is/was
it is so hard but then this is my chance to let things go and move on
wich i can't right now coz i am at the edge - he can push me or he can save me
all i know is it was real .. everything i said, felt and dreamd
and that i trully believed ..
everything will be so different without him
even i will be different
He will still be the one
the one ..
...i loved
...Believed
...i will remember
...i will treasure
- He'll be a part of my past & future -


school is ok nothing interesting ya know ..
and how i am i doing? will as you just read it not so good
but i am trying ..
and there isn't much to talk so i'll talk to you guys later enjoy
the music - James blunt is awsome -

complicated ..

well school started >__< uhm it's boring like always haha -
anyways things still haven't really changed between me and him
uhm we finally spoke .. actually i left him a offline message
asking him if he still wants this and that i'm feeling left out and he being cold to me
his answer was that he still loves me and he is falling more in love
thats the main reason why he was the way he was
he couldn't take it he was going crazy becoz of love the more
he was with me the more he wanted to be with me kinda thing
and i asked that a good thing right?he said yea but i don't want more
i want to be the way we are now not bigger ..
he told me i see your pictures everywhere i think about you all the time
it's getting hard for me that's why i am being cold..
and that it is hard for him to be so open and talk about everything becoz
he's not used to that -
well i get it but honestly i want more
i want him telling me eerything and being sweet like he used to
everything is so complicated right now
feels like i am at the edge of saying let's break up
but i can't coz if i say that i will be broken and i will be hurting him
-sigh - i just don't know what to do T__T
but enough of this ..
i went to a concert with alot of artist of every genre of music
it was supposed to last untilll 1 o'clock in the evening but
my friend had to leave early so yea we left at 11
her bf was there too they're so cute 2getha -
i kinda felt lonely
and i saw some friends of mine too ^__^
uhm that's it for 2day

I'm hatin the distance

why is it always so complicated
why can't love or life be simple..
things r not working out between me and my bf
it just seems like i am the one always trying fighting these days
feels like he's being cold to me
i hate this situation coz i'm like okay you know what this is it -
i'm tired of sitting infront of the pc and wait for him make time
and be there for him wich he doesn't do anymore
it's just a akward silence between us there is nothing more to talk about
it thought of breakin up saying this is not meant to be
but it's been a long road .. and i dunno what to do anymore ..
i love him  i do and we've been too strong for too long
can't decide anything right now T__T --
anyways tommorow back to school >__< 3months have gone too soon
wish it could always be summer -
it's gonna be my last year of high school ...
damn .. gonna have a relaxing bath tonight -
and get things ready fo school =)

random -

i'm finnally done with cleaning the house - i did a major cleaning
and then washing clothes and now i am finnally done -
it took like hours to do all the cleaning my hands or soooo tired >__<
i can't believe my 3month summer vacation is over so soon T__T
and there's like only 4 days left till ma school starts
i'm gonna go shopping on sunday -
i actually wanted to buy my stuff earlier but yea like you see
still haven't bought them all becoz of my mom >__<
it's probb gonna be like crowded at the store's sunday --
but yea - i haven't done anything this summer >__<
and this year is graduation so exams and graduation party
much to learn and shopping for a dress n stuff >__<
i'm gonna be like very busy this year
i hate school>__< -
moms frying chicken so woohooss ^__^ --
okay i'll write soon

-- LDR --

I'm tired of waiting for u everynight

I'm tired of not being able to have you beside me

I'm tired of the distance between us

I'm tired of the tears..

I'm tired of the heartbreak's

I'm tired of feeling like i'm doing this all alone - Eventough i know i'm not alone

I hate seeing you in this position -

I hate it when you laugh and pretend that everything is ok - when ur hating the distance too

I hate to see you go -

I hate not being there for you -

I hate it all -

I'm at a point when i wanna say i can't take this anymore -

and just move on let this all go - and be another long distance relationship that didn't work out

but i can't coz even if i'm mad and tired of all this

i know that it'll just take a bigger part of me to let go

and when i let go i regret it and then we fall back to just like it was

it's like you got me addicted and i need to go to rehab but i don't want to

coz you make me better and happy but at the same time you make it difficult for me

people think they get it but they don't

it's harder then it seems

Things would be so much easier if i was there ..

you

everynight i go to bed - with the thought of us being together

everymorning when i'm walking to the busstop - 

whether it is raining - snowing - it still makes me think of you

everyday i keep daydreamin - about the day when i'll have you in my arms

every quote-every song-reminds me of you

we've come a long hard way to be where we are now..

''like you said i can see my future in your eyes''

i can see mine too.. 

there is no such thing as forever - nothing lasts forevr

but i want a lifetime with you -- 

Pictures

Pink Nails ♥

This Is Simply Cute ♥

I May Have Found this  ♥

Yes You Do ♥ And you know i love it

This Was Something I Needed ♥

This Could Be You & Me Someday .. 

Lovin Her Hair - Clothing .. Just Everything

Cute Jeans Tottally Loovee ^__^

Without you - nothing is the same

You may not be her first last or her only
she loved before she may love again
but if she loves you now what els matters?
she's not perfect - you aren't either and the
two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh,cause you to
think twice and admit to being human and
making mistakes,hold onto her and give
her the most you can.she may not be
thinkin about you every second of the day
but she will give you a part of her that she
knows you can break (her heart)
so don't analyze and don't expect
more then she can give
smile when she makes you happy
let her know when she makes you mad
and miss her when she's not there

Love Her Shoess ^__^ 

- Random -

Good Morning or evening - ^__^ 

I am listening to James Morrison - Please Don't Stop The Rain - 

Great Singer - tottaly love his voice but ok 

back to the point i'm off to a barbecue thing with some family members

gonna spend tha night there - ( at grandma's house xD ) 

so i'll let you know how it was tommorow =)

need to go shopping >__< for school damn summer is almost over =( .. 

wich means i can't talk to ma bbe as often coz we both have school and 

 the time diff is freakin anoying - 6 hours ? i mean like come ooonnn>_<

but ok gonna post some pics i tottaly love --

enjoy them -

epik high

 Lovin this song sooo much -
Must Listen ^__^ !!


 Epik High - Pieces Of You 

- I Want to look into your eyes and hold you hand forever -

..you..

There's him amd there is you ..
Him .. i love him and i am fighting to keep things going even trough the distance
He's always been there..dispite my moodswings and complicated thought
and he wiped away my tears and pushes me to the top..even if i can't be next to him
he's the best part of my day -
he's my everything

and there is you .. i've shed so many tears for you
and you disapear and then you come..
feels like you have a part of me
we talk and i seem to get okay becoz of you
he can do that he always does but your different
it doesn't feel like love becoz it's too complicated to be love
it's just a thing .. a thing that i can't let go -

life

it's been a long long time since i have written something ..

well i just feel like writing so here it goes 

as time passes by i've understood that 

no matter how good friends you are some people will still disapoint you 

and life doesn't always go the way you want it too 

life is about making choices .. even if it was a bad or a good choice 

you made the choice so you gotta go to till the end with it 

i've thought about giving up and i've had hard times 

but you just gotta keep walkin..

so i am .. livin in a diff place with other people then ur used to has been real hard

eventough it's been 3 years it still doesn't feel home.. 

besides that having a LDR isn't easy either 

but guess that's life right?

i wish i could have done some things different 

made more people laugh then hurt them eventough i didn't want to

i would've been more confident .. 

would've enjoyed life more then now 

i still enjoy it though but just not as i used to 

you can say i am a simple person with complex thoughts 

so many things going around in my head .. 

Thinkin about him..and life and faith .. and so much more

i wish that i could just understand things more..

wishing to fly away back home .. 

get things to like they were before.. 

but guess that's not possible so i'll keep walking this road .. and see what happens .. 

I'm Back

^__^ I'm back on my blogspot again guess this is so much easier 

well i dunno if someone actually reads the things i write so

if you do pls let me know aight?

well i have my summervacation haven't done anything special 

ya know just home & msn,blog that kind of stuff and going out ofcozz 

well my best friend is here i haven't had the chance to meet her yet 

ya know she has to meet all of her family and see mgl so

when she's done with all that shit she'll be seeing me 

omg i just can't wait to see her..

so how have you guys been ?

omg blogspot is like so much easier xD

we'll i'll be posting again here so be sure to read it ~^__^

Well bye bye guys

Love ya'll 

New ~

www.sossavemyheart.tumblr.com

check it out my new blog ~