my heart is hurting

I can feel him fading away from me little by little
there is still that ..
...Silence
...Akwardness
I have no idea how we ended up like this
cause it just seems like yesterday when we were talking about us and the future
we were so confident and full of hope
and now we hardly even speak
i go out with my friends and laugh
but my heart is still aching
i just need to cry in someone's arms
without telling me he is a jerk or that he's blind or that everything is okay
i am not okay .. and i am okay with that
i need the tears to feel that what he and i had/have real is/was
it is so hard but then this is my chance to let things go and move on
wich i can't right now coz i am at the edge - he can push me or he can save me
all i know is it was real .. everything i said, felt and dreamd
and that i trully believed ..
everything will be so different without him
even i will be different
He will still be the one
the one ..
...i loved
...Believed
...i will remember
...i will treasure
- He'll be a part of my past & future -


school is ok nothing interesting ya know ..
and how i am i doing? will as you just read it not so good
but i am trying ..
and there isn't much to talk so i'll talk to you guys later enjoy
the music - James blunt is awsome -